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There have been 142 posts since 2019, but I've been complaining on the internet since long before then. Subscribe via RSS.

Posts tagged #life

Reached out to a tattoo artist I’ve gotten work from in the past about setting up an appointment, and he asked if this would be my “first tattoo” and if so he could “answer any questions I have.” Good sir, my dude, I’ve lost count of how many tattoos I have. Idk if I’m that forgettable but just take my money and draw the fucking Pokémon on my arm with your needle gun okay enough questions

April 23, 2025 @ 9:24PM 3

Booking a tattoo appointment is so exciting as long as you don’t look at your bank statement first

January 09, 2025 @ 12:41PM

Big thank you to my partner, a couple of friends, and a v good therapist for getting me through 2024. I have no hope of making it to midnight tonight, but here’s hoping 2025 is less of a shit show 🤞🏻

December 31, 2024 @ 9:01PM

Bye, 2023

On one hand it seems silly to mark the passing of a year, given how man-made the calendar is, but on the other hand, it is very difficult not to reminisce a little when everyone else is, and one time is as good as any to mark the “start” of a new year, really. So.

In the last year, I travelled some. Or at least, I left the city I live in a few times. I took 1 (one) road trip home to surprise my sister while she got ready for her wedding. It amounted to 4 days of driving for 2 days of visiting but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I also (not surprisingly) flew home again later this year for that wedding, which was beautiful. Later, I found myself in a resort in Mexico on a week long, all expenses paid vacation. It was a trip I was able to go on only because someone else was unable to, but one that I will never forget.

In 2023, I read 8 books. That's more than any year since I started paying attention, which makes me feel good. I'd like to continue the trend in 2024, and I'm aiming for 10. That's not quite one book per month, which feels perfectly reasonable. I haven't read much at all in the last few months anyway, so I'm looking forward to diving into a new series.

I finished more than 12 paintings (but I’m not 100% sure how to count, exactly) and filled 40 pages in my sketchbook. That must be an improvement over the previous year (I didn't really count at all) but either way it definitely feels like I'm getting into a good art routine. I look forward to bumping those numbers next year. I'd love to really fill out the art section of the site, and it seems silly to have a sketchbook with fewer than 100 pages last a year or longer. I will finish, at least, one entire sketchbook next year.

The start of a new year is a time for making goals. You should keep your goals achievable and measurable, apparently — so says the internet about the psychology of goals, anyway, and what better source of information do I have? So: I’d like to end 2024 with more friends than I started it with. I’d like to paint more. I’d like to take a step forward in my career. I’d like to exercise more (but only if it will give me bigger muscles) and I’d like to really make sure that I’m adding something to this world by being in it — whether I make it more beautiful or more chaotic, I will have some hand in the year to come.

Here’s to a new year!

December 31, 2023

Starting an aquarium is an exercise in patience.

August 09, 2023 @ 8:58PM

Watching Gamers Game

I will sit and watch someone play Minecraft for hours at a time, instead of playing it myself. In fact, I regularly watch Minecraft videos — at least a few a day. This is absolutely baffling to some people. Even people who regularly play video games get confused. I know people who will spend hours with controller in hand, but would never think to watch someone else play the game, except to look up a cheat, or the solution to a puzzle. The concept of regularly watching someone else play a video game, instead of playing it yourself, seems foreign.

I certainly feel a little self-conscious whenever I have to explain that I spend a lot of time watching Minecraft videos, as in, videos of someone else playing Minecraft. The only time anybody else has brought this up around me was to point out that they know of kids that watch Minecraft videos. Minecraft has something of a reputation of being a children's game (it isn't) so I suppose this shouldn't be surprising. That doesn't change the embarrassment I feel, though.

On his blog, Chris Coyier mentioned watching StarCraft II videos:

I’ve played the game enough to understand how it all works — which I find to be a prerequisite to enjoying watching any game. I’ve tried watching people play games I would probably like, but have never played, and it never takes. StarCraft has loads of strategy and drama, like any good sporting event, and tends to be in small enough time increments that commitment is deliciously low. My stepdad watches a lot of professional golf on TV (and plays golf) and it’s certainly less weird than that.

I would argue that watching someone play video games is no different to watching sports of any kind, only less socially acceptable or normalized. And, Chris is exactly right: like sports, understanding the game itself is absolutely crucial.

I would rather clean a public bathroom than sit and watch a football game, because football is boring and I don't understand it (and I don't want to, despite the efforts of the straight dudes in my life). Same goes for golf, curling, or pretty much any other sport. Is this how everyone else feels about watching people play video games?

We're also talking about videos made by people who play video games and make videos about it, professionally. So it's not just about watching them play. These people have learned how to turn a video game — the very same game that you or I could play at any time, the same game that I have played a thousand times — into something truly enjoyable to watch.

It's not just someone playing Minecraft. It's practically a TV show, full of comedy or drama, with recurring characters you get excited to see in crossovers and on multiplayer servers. As a rule, the player/content creator injects the entertainment factor into the video. Without the right player to watch, I might as well just play the game myself.

July 05, 2022

Fuck Am’rrca

There was a time in my life when I truly, genuinely felt that I was destined to live in California. This was likely in part a result of Hollywood endlessly glamorizing the place, but also, you know, the weather.

Since I moved to Vancouver, I got what I really wanted (nice weather) and the idea of living in California has become a bit of a joke. But nearly every day something happens that makes me say, vehemently, fuck America. Sorry, Americans, some of y’all are cool, but your country is fucked six ways to Sunday and half of y’all are determined to make it worse. Good fucking luck.

I am genuinely afraid for the general trend of Canada following the U.S.’s example. What happens in Canada, happened in the states a couple years earlier. So far, in a lot of ways, it seems we’re resisting the worst of that impulse. Hopefully that keeps up, because where the hell else would I move to?

May 24, 2022

Everything is awful

A little joke I like to make sometimes (offline, where people think I'm funny) is that somewhere around 2012, something happened that caused our world to splinter off, and we are now in The Bad Timeline. But the world has always been a little bit batshit, I suppose, and we have probably always been in The Bad Timeline. It's just gotten really hard lately not to be aware of it.

I shouldn't have to care about celebrity court cases, or what company a billionaire idiot wants to buy, or whether a dictator who lives just an ocean away will decide that nuclear war doesn't sound that bad. I shouldn't have to worry about microplastics or how much carbon is in the atmosphere or whether I'll ever get the chance to see a healthy, vibrant, and unbleached coral reef. I can hardly take two steps without seeing something new to fret over. It's stressing me the fuck out.

I could, of course, just stop reading the news. Delete Twitter from my devices. Plug my ears and hum happy songs to myself whenever someone brings up the state of the world. Ignorance is bliss, right?

Except it obviously fucking isn't. So I should organize a protest, or donate to a worthy cause or two, or dedicate my life to making the world a better place!

Except I have to work and I'm really kind of tired, and the bills need to get paid, and have you seen the price of groceries lately? Add that to the list of things to worry about.

May 19, 2022

One Year Later

One year ago today, in what felt at the time like an overabundance of caution rather than the only sane thing to do, my company shut down the office and the entire company moved to working from home. As a tech company this wasn't the most difficult transition - all you really need to do your job is your laptop and a reliable internet connection - but what was supposed to be a temporary situation dragged on, the "Return to Office" date kept getting pushed back, and eventually, after a few months, it was announced that we were probably never going to return to a 100% in-office environment again, so we may as well get used to working from home.

I bought a bigger desk, and a nicer chair to sit in. Our list of needs for a new apartment suddenly now included a whole extra space that could be used for a home office - as if space isn't hard enough to come by in Vancouver. People seem to be moving out of downtown in droves; we keep being told that this is a renter's market and that average rent prices have gone down (they've gone down year over year, even pre-pandemic, evidently) but it still feels expensive as hell to live here.

My partner and I had hoped that being able to find a bigger, better apartment would be one of the silver linings of this whole thing, but so far we haven't had any luck in that regard (we have been unbelievably lucky in pretty much everything else, which I must try to remember). And don't get me started on exiting the rental market entirely to try and become a homeowner; Vancouver isn't designed for people who aren't already millionaires to do that.

Despite the pandemic, we were also able to do a bit of traveling in 2020; we took a road trip through some of the most beautiful non-arctic scenery Canada has to offer and visited my parents during the summer.

There were few restrictions at that point, and only certain business were requiring a mask, but everyone in public was socially distancing and we even felt safe enough to go to the zoo. I don't know that I would be comfortable doing something so people-y today, but at the time it seemed the best way to do something outdoors without taking too much of a risk.

We ended the trip by picking up a new four-legged family member: a year and a half old golden lab who was much bigger than we had originally planned for. He's since put on a few more pounds, and has made himself quite at home. We didn't get a dog because of the pandemic; I had started talking about it long before anyone had even heard of the virus, however there's no denying that the decision was motivated at least in part by the new times we live in.

Seven months later, and I couldn't imagine life without Zeus. Though now we need a bigger apartment even more.

Being cooped up at home has also had an interesting effect on my creativity; I have felt both stifled and inspired, and have struggled with long periods of not really feeling that there is any point to creating something. I've been able to explore new mediums, however, which has been great fun. I've been drawing, and painting. Painting! I always thought I sort of hated painting, but it turns out I just hated acrylic paint. Gouache is what I wanted acrylic to be all along. I love
painting now! And cooking - I've tried cooking and baking so many new things this year, and some of those even turned out successfully! It doesn't seem like following a recipe ought to feel like a form of creative expression, but there's something about working with your hands to turn a pile of ingredients into a beautiful cake that just sings on your taste buds. I delight in food, and I'm delighted with how much I've gotten to explore it this year.

So many have lost so much these last twelve months, but I have been lucky beyond measure that my friends and family have all kept their health. I am grateful for my job and my partner and our little family. We've done okay this last year, and I want to remember that.

March 16, 2021

My Typical Day

Just like in the good ol' days, there's a blog post chain going around, this one started by Colin Devroe. I saw the original post and it's been really interesting seeing how other web developers go about their days. I'm not a web developer per se but Dave Rupert made an open call, and Mr. Devroe himself told me to, so here's mine.

6:15 AM - My partner's alarm goes off, and he gets up for work (he still goes to work, as in, at a place that isn't our apartment). I lay in bed with the dog, catching up on Twitter and the news. This probably isn't a great morning habit but four years of endless crises have pretty much drilled into me to take a glance at what's going on in the world as soon as my eyes are open. Dave usually brings me a cuppa in bed, which I forget about until...

7:00 AM - Out of bed, drink the tea, Dave goes to work and I take the dog for a walk. I like a little fresh air in the morning, and I'm looking forward to a few weeks from now when the sunrise coincides with walk time.

8:00 AM - Usually have a quick shower, and make breakfast. Most mornings, that's a slice of sourdough toast topped with hummus, a fried egg (over-easy, the only correct way to fry an egg), hot sauce, and a couple of strips of bacon. Bacon is optional but highly recommended. I wasn't always a breakfast person, but this takes 30 minutes to cook, eat, and clean up after, and it carries me through to lunch. Also, it's friggin' delicious.

8:30 AM - Catch up on RSS feeds, maybe watch some Youtube.

9:00 AM - Begin day job! Mostly that means answering emails. Zeus begins a hard day of napping in various comfy spots around the apartment and occasionally chewing on a toy.

12:00 PM - Lunch time. On a good day this is leftovers from a previous dinner, but if we're keeping it 100, most days are either delivery or an assortment of chips, cookies, and chocolates
lying around the place. I should get better at this, but I just actually hate leftovers most of the time (also, I don't own a microwave). Zeus also gets another walk, then he gets lunch (he won't eat breakfast in the morning, don't ask me why) and then he promptly goes back to sleep.

1:00 PM - Back to work!

3:00 PM - Meetings, if any, usually take place in the late afternoon when it's hardest to go back to work after.

5:00 PM - Close the work laptop (I try not to slam it) and spend some time puttering around the apartment, tidying up after the day. Reset from staring at a screen all day.

5:30 PM - Boyfriend gets home from work and takes Zeus for a walk. I start chopping potatoes (all of our dinners seem to involve chopping potatoes, somehow).

6:30 PM - Everyone is home, dinner is cooking, wine is poured, and Zeus gets fed. Chat with boyfriend until we're sitting at the table stuffing our faces, at which point we've usually turned on the TV.

8:00 PM - After the kitchen is cleaned up (I cooked, boyfriend cleans), we retire to the couch to — wait for it — continue watching TV.

9:00 PM - I take Zeus for another walk, and this is the one that makes me really wish Vancouver was the type of place where you could have a backyard, so I could just 'let him out' instead. Alas, it's not, so instead I walk my dog along the beach 3-4 times a day. I truly have nothing to complain about! Back home, I can usually only handle so much TV, so towards the end of the evening I usually grab the laptop or iPad to play on the internet.

10:00 PM - Bedtime. Trying really hard to read a bit before falling asleep, at least a chapter, so I can get through twelve books in twelve months in 2021. This is going well so far!

Well, there it is. The things I do day after day after day - wasn't this fun! One day I hope to be able to shuffle my time around so less of it is taken up with a day job and more of it gets to be spent fiddling with code, but all in all my days aren't too awful.

January 30, 2021